Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
You Jokes
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
