You jokes
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What do you call an autistic black man with a rifle?
Black ops.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.