You jokes
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.