Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
