You jokes
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought you were his brother.
Memes
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha...”
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.