You jokes
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.