You jokes

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.

What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?

A chill pill.

A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?

It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.

Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:

11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?

Special Forces.

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”

And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.

While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

What do you call Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.