You jokes
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" π€£ππ€£ππππ
Memes
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
If you donβt like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Why canβt you kidnap an orphan?
Because you canβt steal what was never wanted in the first place.
If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.