You jokes
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬
Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call an orphan family tree?
A tree stump.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.