You jokes
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
What do you call an orphan with parents?
I don't know... what?
Kidnapped. :)
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?
My sister wearing all the world's makeup.
Sister: Just a little.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
What do you call a black person?
Black.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.