You jokes

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

What do you call a family picture for an orphan?

A selfie.

What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?

They both thank you for your financial support.

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"

Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

What do you call an Asian telephone?

Ling Ling.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

But wait, what family? He never had one.

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll up.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

What do you call an apartment full of Black people?

A crackhouse.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

I never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.