You jokes
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you call a fat transgender midget?
Jigglypuff.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.
"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
Why do you call a fat midget?
Jiggly Puff.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.