You jokes

What do you call a surprised Asian?

Ho Lee Fuc.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Me time.

Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

What do you call a disabled Arab?

Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

What do you call an emo with no legs?

Emobile.

POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬