"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
You Jokes
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Why did you go depressed?
Because you’re you.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?
Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
