You jokes
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
What is gay - curious 🤔 😳
👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.
👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?
🚲 🚲 🚲
😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."