You jokes

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

Yo mama's so dumb, when a robber stole her TV, she said, "You forgot the remote!"

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

How do you make a sad person jump?

A bridge.

Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.

When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.

What do you tell a depressed person?

Just hang in there!

Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.