You jokes
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
Memes
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper