You jokes
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"