You jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
Memes
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.