You jokes

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."

Friends: "You wanna hang with us?"

Me: "No, I wanna hang myself."

You learn from the best.

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?

Flat neck road.

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.

What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

Orphan: "How?"

Kid: "You wouldn't know."

Orphan: "........."