You jokes

Q: Why can't you tell 9/11 jokes in a comedy club?

A: They always crash and burn.

Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.

What do you call your mom?

Monkey.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Why do you have to pay to see Russian people?

Because the zoo is not free, Duhhhhh🙄

It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.

Frère l'été ici!

If you understand, put it in chat.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Owl.

Owl who?

Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?

Pokémon!

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Random person: Why?

You: To get to the idiot's house!

Random person: What?

You: Knock knock.

Random person: Who's there?

You: The chicken.

When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)