You jokes

You guys are crazy!

Did you fart, cause you blew me away?

Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?

Heartbeat.

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

I love you, Lovely Perv!

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

What do you say to someone's mom?

"You mom gay."

A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"

I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."

Teacher, what do you call sex making out with a C.I.W.?

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

Robber 1: *gets shot in ass*

Robber 2: You have to shit in a bag for life lol.

Robber 1: What, the Tesco or Asda one?

What is a doe called with no legs?

•" No legged deer."

What do you call a deer with no ears?

•" No eared deer."

What do you call a deer with no eye?

•" No eye deer."

XDDDDDD

Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.

Also me: Are you okay?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?

Me: Because you have no family.

People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.

What do you call a black person?

Black.

I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!

How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:

How do you shrivel a dick?

An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"

"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Rubber-toe.