Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
What do you call an autistic ant? An Evelyn.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
You smell dirty toenails and pigeon sex.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."
To all the little rude people here, fuck you. I didn't ruin this country, it was Putin!
Yo, your hairline is so small that you're bald.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
My friend: “Vaporeon is my favorite Pokémon.”
Me: “Hey, did you kno-“
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
