You jokes

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

A happy family.

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Me: *writes Kahoot about me then finishes.*

Me and friend: *plays Kahoot.*

A question: When is (my name) happy?

Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong.*

Answer: Never, only a portion.

Friend: Do you need help?

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.

What do you call an orphan with a selfie?

A family portrait.

Why does your mom hate you?

Because you are a loser.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

When your sister asks you to entertain her, you don't!

Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?

Because it was Halloween!

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"