You jokes

What day can you have sex on?

Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.

Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!

"Get your butt out of my face!"

"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"

If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

What do screen doors and blondes have in common?

The more you bang them, the looser they get.

What do you call butter without an expiration date?

A miracle butter, because wow!

Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

Other man: Because.

Man: Because why!?

Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!

You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?

We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"

I replied, "As soon as possible!"

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

What do you call the worst joke teller of all time?

Ben or Chris?

What do you call my dick?

A. A monster.

You have Chinged your last Chong.

Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?

Son: I don't know.

Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?

Everybody knows nothing.

If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?

A Moleionaire.