You jokes
When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.
That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Memes
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
Guys, can you like my jokes, please?
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.