You jokes
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Memes
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
If you don't have big Nyash,
Lower your voice while talking to me, you Mau Mau warrior. 😂😂😂
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
You know what I told my little brother plane?
I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)