What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
You Jokes
What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.
Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did.
I did who?
You did a poo.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
Me: Want to play 911?
My little brother: What's that?
Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.
The bully: Your gay.
The nerd: You are.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: What, your gay?
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
The police: Pull over!
The kid: Do you know who my dad is?
The police: What, your mom did not tell you?
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
