Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit-roll up
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
What do you call a fish with out eye?
a fsh
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
My chocky milk, don't you touch my chocky milk! It's mine! No it's not! It's your face! Ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Luckily for your mirrors can't talk and luckily for you they can't laugh either
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
An orphan goes to a doctor.
Doctor: "Sorry, I can't help you."
Orphan: "But why?"
Doctor: "I'm a family doctor."
What kind of tree can you High-Five?
A palm tree.
