You jokes
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
You will never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
When people make accounts about you and a category.
What do you call a bunch of depressed kids with AK47s?
Suicide squad. 😂😂😂
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."