Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
i bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday- i dont know what he laced them with but i was trippen all day
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell
I fell down yesterday
wHAT DID I EAT FOR BREAKFAST YESTERDSAY?
10 YEAR OLDS
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
"Son, I found a condom in your room."
"Gee, thanks, Grandpa!"
"Why are you calling me Grandpa?"
"Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
