Year jokes

In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?

Coronavirus and toilet paper.

Me: I have the body of a 28 year old.

Her: Prove it.

Me: (opens freezer)

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

What's the difference between 20 and 14?

9 to 10 years.

Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽‍♂️

What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?

Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

I traveled through time to get my dad back.

I failed because I was 1e21 years off.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.

Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!

The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.

That’s like 20 years from now, I said.

He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

What's the difference between you and a calendar?

Calendars got dates.