Year jokes
The humor of this generation of kids shouldn't be called 'brain rot'; it should be called 'brain rape.' I believe most people of this generation that aren't 5-year-olds could agree with me, but my mind and thoughts have been violated by the things that kids these days find funny and entertaining. #SKIBIDDI
I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
It's been 2 years since I've been on this. Hello, guys!
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.
"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"
"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.