New Year Jokes - Page 11 - Worst Jokes Ever

A 9 year old year girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breath as she waits for the doctor to come. The doctor finally comes and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

yo mom so fat i went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch tv

so i asked for the tv remote and shes still trying to get it

Your forehead is so big it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Why do eight year old girls wear panties with flowers on? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11 year old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl? The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhoea when you pull your meat out

If r kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life R kelly: I feel you

I forgot you cant make depression jokes outside of twitter lmao my coworker was like “you ready for this year to be over?” I was like “im ready for this life to be over” he was like bro what

all i wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise* unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self

Therapy -Expensive -Years of hard work -Emotionaly draining -Tough to find

Screaming in the woods -Free -Immediate relief -Scares hunters enough to leave therefore saving innocent animals -Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods

A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months. At the funeral, a man see the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man look at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad. The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12 year old nuts

Why does Micheal Jackson like twenty -eight year olds?

Cuz there is Twenty of them.

one time michael jackson had an elergic reaction from eation 12 year old nuts

The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.