Wrong jokes

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

Your hairline was playing Sorry!

Pulled the wrong card and moved back five spaces.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

Yo mama is so fat that she is not wrong when she says the world revolves around her.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

Yo mama so ugly Donald Trump said "wrong!"

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

Why can't Chinese people have white babies? Because two wrongs don't make a white.

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

One was just a plane tortilla.

The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

And the third one went to the wrong address.

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

Why is there no phone in China?

Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.