Work jokes
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi? Because they can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
Because he got fired!
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
I make many jokes about jobless people, but none of them are working.
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."