Work jokes

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

There was a big problem yesterday.

My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.

I got to work.

Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.

Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.

Boss: Have a nice day.

Ben: Ok, bye!

Boss:??

Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!

I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.

Why was the computer late to work?

Because it had a hard drive!

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!

We gotta work ahead, people!

Are you fin-ished with your work?

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his flex rhymes!

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team: