Work Jokes

Why was the computer late to work?

Because it had a hard drive!

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

A picture of a bathtub with a toaster inside it. The text above the picture says "When you get off of work and she's waiting for you in the bathtub."

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!

We gotta work ahead, people!

Are you fin-ished with your work?

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his flex rhymes!

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.

I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.

Now I feel like I belong.

Like a work film, to take new in the center.

More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!

It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.