Work jokes
"I'd love to give everyone another shot."
Harry, 26, works at the women's clinic.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?
Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she works best when she is unemployed.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
I work at a movie studio.
Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.
The team:
Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
"What's the wifi password?"
"121i362"
"It's not working."
"What wifi are you trying to connect to?"
"The United Airline."
"We're in the World Trade Center, though."
What do you call a group of children who go on strike?
A minor's strike.
What do you call security guards working outside of Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy. 🌌
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.