What do you call it when a man named ned works at panera bread
Panera Ned
Im on a roll with my jokes rn
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
Wife: looks in the mirror Wife: i look fat can you say something positive husband: at least your eyes work
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working. They had to call an archeologist.
I FOUND A KEY THAT WORKS FOR EVERY DOOR AT MY SCHOOL
How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!
Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly Bully 2: Look in a mirror. Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Q:Why do orphans work at olive garden
A: Because when your there your family
Be grateful: You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard A. Cause they want the BONEus
I have so many cash machine jokes But none of them seem to work ATM
I work at a tire shop I'm pretty tired
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work
wanna hear a construction joke. nah i'm still working on it.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restauraunt down the street?
Yeah he Pasta-Way
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton and you still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work "
Please read all of it I know it's long please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying as she was praying she came to an end: " Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died the dad thought it was just coincidence so he carried on his day. At night he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy. After he heard goodbye grandma his facial expression changed and went straight to bed. The next morning the grandma died out of nowhere the dad began to worry and continued on his day, at night he heard his daughter again " Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy. The dad got scared so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there so that's what he did. When he got home the next day his wife asked where he had been and he replied back " Sorry honey I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: " OH YOU THINK YOU HAD A BAD THE MAILMAN JUST DIED ON THE FRONTPORCH THIS MORNING" If you get it you get it.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
So a guy walks into gas station and walks to the person working and says “can I have a kitcat chuncky” so she gets him one and then he says “no I want a normal kitcat you fat bitch”.
