Work jokes
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
"Stupid faker, if you're trying to get me to leave the site, it won't work!"
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.