I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!
Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.
The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.
Why is being an electrician the easiest job in the world? It's literally light work.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
I've done a skele-TON of work to think of this joke. Trust me, I've got a FEW more jokes!
When you are stressing from homework, just do some skateboarding and kick butt.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
I C U P works on 88% of people.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
