Wordplay jokes

Room

A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.

Pun in, ten dead.

Calculator

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.

Memes

Ginger

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

Dyslexia

I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.

Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.

Cheetah

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

Name

So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"

The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".

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  • Chemist

    How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

    Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

    Fan

    I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

    Buddy

    I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."