Wordplay jokes
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
The "f" in orphan is for family.
Memes
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
Want to hear a joke about prostitution?
Never mind, it's whoreable :)
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.