Wordplay jokes
Do you know what the F in Orphan stands for?
Family.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Are you gay? "No." Oh, so you're not happy? "No." Oh...
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What flowers are on your face?
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
Yo mama so ugly that when she watched The Outsiders, they became The Insiders.
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.