Wordplay jokes

Egg

Why doesn't my egg want to crack?

Because I hate my egg-sistence.

  • 4
  • Meter

    Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

    I’d really like to meter.

    Memes

    Lobster

    What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

    One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

  • 4
  • Pirate

    What is a pirate's favorite letter?

    You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.

    Major

    What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

    The thot that counts.

    Suicide

    Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

    Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

    Person 1: Really?

    Person 2: They're not even that deep.

    Ball

    Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.

  • 2
  • Man

    If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

    Band

    I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

  • 8