I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfish?
A family portrait
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? Lickalotapuss
How do you think the unthinkable? An ithberg
the f in orphan stands for family. but there is no f in orphan.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call an epileptic kid LIttle Seizures
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
I’m friends with 25 letters, I don’t know y!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
What does an orphan call a family picture? A selfie.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
