My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
My boyfriend thinks heβs hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: Weβre a twig. Weβre breaking up.
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
