Wordplay jokes
I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)