Wordplay jokes

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

I’d really like to meter.

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

What do you call lesbian twins?

Lick-A-Likes.

Doin' (DYM 63)?

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".

You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?

A) Robert Drowney Jr.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?

Ginger! You racist fuc-

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅

What do you call a skeleton's erection?

A boner.

What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What do you call an orphan with a boner?

Porn.