Wordplay jokes
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
I don’t think 9/11 jokes are funny... they just crash and burn.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"
What kind of bike do women ride?
A menstrual cycle.
I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.