Wordplay jokes

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!

What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.

I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.

What do you call a skeleton's omelet?

A bonelet.

Anal intercourse is for assholes.

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?

Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.

I put the fun in dysfunctional.

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.

Why is 10 always afraid?

Because it is between 9 and 11.

What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."