Wordplay jokes
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
I put the fun in dysfunctional.
Memes
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.