Wordplay jokes
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
What do you call an Afghanistan person in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
kanker
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, “to whom.”
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
I am Cummer.