Wordplay jokes
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
Who's a rapper that likes to walk around naked?
Nudacris.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish!
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy!
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
Why don't fish play basketball?
Because they're scared of the net!
Why can't you play the guitar on a fish?
Because you can't tuna fish!
What do you call an American bee?
A USB!
What fruit likes to go down the slide?
Kiwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
That's all my jokes in mind, y'all!
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!