Wordplay jokes
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."