Wordplay jokes
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
George Floyd was in a TV show, "Fresh Prince of no hair."
What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.