Wordplay jokes
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
I make science puns, but only periodically.
What do you get when you cross a blonde chick and a garden tool?
A dumbass hoe.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.