Wordplay jokes
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
here's my dick pick
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?
Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?
Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer.