Wordplay jokes

Can February march?

No, but April may.

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.

A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?

Quatro Sinco.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reali-tea.

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."

What do you call a group of Daveons? A "daveon-ation."

HOLY CRAP!!!

Crap with holes in it.

Get it? HOLE - Y?

What's a footlong and slippery?

A slipper.

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

What's 2+2? FORE-head.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?

Rolling on ice.

I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.

What do cats eat for breakfast?

"Mice Krispies!"

Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.

Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.

What is Ba + 2Na?

Ans. Banana.

Why does Michael Jackson like 44-year-olds? There's 4 of them.