Wordplay jokes
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Why is 10 always afraid?
Because it is between 9 and 11.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What time did the man go to the dentist at? Two-thirty.
What would Hitler do if he was in Minecraft?
Mien.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.