Wordplay jokes

What do you call a ghost bee?

Boobees.

All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Most of the time.

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

"Did you go to the light show?"

"Yeah, it was lit."

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"

What kind of bike do women ride?

A menstrual cycle.

Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

I support LGBTQ.

Let's Go Bully The Queers.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.