Wordplay jokes
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
Why did the lettuce win the race?
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
Suck my cheetah.
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
Want to hear a joke about prostitution?
Never mind, it's whoreable :)
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Say: "eye"
Spell: map
Then say: "enis."
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂