Wordplay jokes
What do you call an atheist bone? -- A blasfemur.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Krusty nut
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.
Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)
Boobless.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround