Wordplay jokes
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
Memes
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
Say: "eye"
Spell: map
Then say: "enis."
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
How do you call a cute door?
A-door-able.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.