Wordplay Jokes

To master puns you got to relish them first that's how I musterd it who knows maybe you will ketchup to my level

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

What do you call a nazi that can’t see?

A nozi

How do you call a cute door? a-door-able

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs names

What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!

If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?

A tEsTiClE!

You really put the R in special.

What do you call a skeleton's omelet?

A bonelet.

I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

Whats a word that starts with m and ends in airage and all men like it?

Miscarriage The joke never gets old just like the baby

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

I have a lot of eggculaint egg puns, get the yolk... oh come on don’t be hard boiled

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.