Wordplay jokes
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Memes
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
You might think these jokes are plane.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.
On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).