Wordplay jokes

What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

You can't beat a cheetah!

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:

1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

What is the most popular game at the orphanage?

Need For Speed: Most Wanted.

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

What do you call a spaceman’s willy?

A Shuttlecock!

Why did the girls sit on the clock?

To be on time.

What do you call a banana eating a banana?

Canabananalism.

Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

Dad: "Yes, we arson."

What do you call a dog that tells time?

A watchdog.

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European.

Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!

I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.

What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?

A "glad-he-ate-her".

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry.

What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.