Wordplay jokes
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Memes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.