Wordplay jokes
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
Broke my toenail yesterday. I'm now presenting you puns/jokes:
1. "Yeah, I broke my toenail, wanna see phoTOES?" 2. "I'm tired of bandaging my toe! Oh. My. GAUZE."
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What is the most popular game at the orphanage?
Need For Speed: Most Wanted.
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.