Wordplay jokes
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
Memes
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
I just shed my pants.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.