Wordplay jokes
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish!
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth? A "glad-he-ate-her".
What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.