Wordplay Jokes

Friend

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

Difference

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

Orphan

what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Nazi

Q: What do you call a blind German man?

Q: A not-see (Nazi).

Song

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It.

Dog

I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.

Difference

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.