Wordplay jokes
Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?
One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
What do you call a dog that tells time?
A watchdog.
What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."
Which animal has the largest chest? A Z-bra.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."