Wordplay jokes
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.