Wordplay jokes
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
Q: What do you call a blind German man?
Q: A not-see (Nazi).
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.