Wordplay jokes
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
Memes
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? A dipresso espresso.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.