Wordplay jokes

Why is the German blind?

Because he's a "not see."

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

What kind of bees eat brains?

Zombees.

What do you call a Muslim sleepover?

Osamas in Pajamas.

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?

Miscarriage.

Name an ant which is very heavy?

Eleph-ant.

I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Apaches.

Apaches who?

Apaches on your eye.

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."

What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?

Eileen.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.