Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
