Wordplay jokes
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Memes
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.