Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Do you know what the F in Orphan stands for?
Family.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
You might think these jokes are plane.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
Where were the first French Fries 🍟 made?
In Greece.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan and the other is an ore fan.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid) what comes after x The Quiet kid: splosion Teacher: What comes after A The Quiet kid: K-47 Teacher: faints
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
