Wordplay jokes
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
What sea creature can add up? A octoplus.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
The "W" in Africa stands for water.
Memes
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
Do you know what the F in Orphan stands for?
Family.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.