Wordplay jokes

Impasta

What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!

PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?

SANS: What?

PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!

SANS: Good one.

Memes

Dad

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Dog

Special needs

My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"

Soldier

Australian

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

Ihop

Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!

Teacher

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

Breakfast

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.

(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.

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