Wordplay jokes
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
Do you know what the F in Orphan stands for?
Family.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
Memes
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
You might think these jokes are plane.
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.