Wordplay jokes
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
Memes
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣