Wordplay jokes
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
What Did Iran Say To Oman?
"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
But then why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 11.
What flowers are on your face?