Word jokes
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.
Whoever put an "s" in the word "lisp" was a jackass!
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
[Link to YouTube video]
I don't know what to say.
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
Justin.
Taja?
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
Did you know the F in orphan stands for family?
(There is no F in orphan.)
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."
Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Eh.