Word jokes

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."

What's an old Japanese man's last words?

"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.

Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?

Student: Ukraine is history!

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?

Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."

Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.

Penis, cheese, butt, cum.

I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."

You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.

Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary.

If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

Scree.

An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.

Q: Why is marriage not a word?

It's a life sentence!

Replace the v in Venus with a p.

What do you call a cute door?

Adorable.