Word jokes
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
If an orange is called an orange, why isn’t a lemon called a yellow?
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
Penis, cheese, butt, cum.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Spell IHOP, then say "ness."