what were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask"
a UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a faliure because
South Americans don’t know the word “please”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion”
Balkans don’t know the word “give”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts”
Africans don’t know the word “food”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage”
and Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
The definition of the word Disappointment means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer"
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What were stephen hawkings last words ......
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter"
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯 Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩 👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises or get one dollar for saying the N word
I never forget my grandpa’s last words Are you still holding the ladder?
What is a necrophiliac safe word I’m alive
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist? The word art
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word racism. People can't be something that doesn't exist
The last 2 words you say after sex before going to sleep ?
Goodnight Mom !
What's an old Japanese mans last words
hey that cloud looks like a mushroom or is it just me
A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".
