Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".
Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.
Word Jokes
A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"
Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
Why did the gay guy say the n word? Cos he's retarded.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
......
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”