Word jokes

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."

There is no family.

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Puss.

How do you talk to giants? Using big words.

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

Hana?

An acronym for penis is Proton-enhanced nuclear induction spectroscopy. So just remember, the word "nuclear" is part of a penis.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

If hi = hi?

Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!

What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?

You really thought n****r, didn't you?

What do you call a shadow?

Tyrone, don’t be a coon!

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."