Word jokes
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
The F in orphan stands for family.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
bro didnt even get the words right
Orphans
The “F” in orphan stands for family.
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
My name is Myria, my right nut.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
I have a little John.
Why did they call it "Aqua Claudia"?
Because it carried water, and another word for water is aqua. Duh!
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
Yeetus.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
Nutty.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"