Woman jokes
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why?
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."