Woman jokes

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

It was women driving the planes for 9/11.

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

What's cold, blue and makes women cry?

Cot death.

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Surprise.

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.

Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.