Woman Jokes

What is the definition of a woman?

A life support system for a vagina.

"Just killed a woman, feeling good."

- Tommyinnit

What do you call women's rights: A blank sheet of paper.

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

saddest youtube comment :(

A text-based image displaying a story in a format similar to a forum post. It starts with the user detailing an event from when they were younger where their mom and sister had gone out to get groceries, and they were doing chores. While doing chores, they watched the news and saw a report of a local woman and daughter getting killed in a car accident. They then write about finding a note from their mom telling them they could play their game console before she came back. The post ends with them mentioning she never came home.

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

What’s red, blonde, and wet?

Saskia in grain.

When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"

How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

Why do men have penises?

They gotta shut women up somehow.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.

Now it’s $3.99.

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"