Woman jokes
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!