Woman jokes

Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do, and so do I. I believe that until proven guilty, every man, woman, and child in this country is innocent, and that's why I fight for you, Albuquerque!

What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?

Because she's a woman.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

It was women driving the planes for 9/11.

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high-ranking position in the US government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.