Husband: my wife and I went to the beach today Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit Husband: The second we entered the beach Pedestrians: TSUNAMI TSUNAMI
what do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
what do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want? womxn
COVERBITCH your worthless
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper ...
''Woman beats off Rapist in carpark'' ,
I suppose that was a fair compromise !
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also I have the same Birthday as her so I have the pass.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had aids.
Woman do have rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?
Why did a woman believed she was a target ? She had a price tag without any value to it?
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick
2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.
3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.
5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth,"the woman told her dentist. He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
2 mums hook up! Their daughter comes in the room and says which ones the baby daddy? the "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "on what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
freya walker is a feminist
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror. We never met again
