Woman jokes

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

Why do leftists call their child Ariel?

So they can decide whether it wants to be a man, woman, mermaid, or washing powder.

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.

Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...

Man: Men have to deal with women.

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.

Haha, boob!

What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?

A cutting board.

What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?

~they're both a dick in a box.

Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.