Woman jokes
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?
By cutting off her fingers.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."