Woman jokes

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?

"I will be back next month."

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

What do the initials NOW stand for?

(A.) National Organization For Women

(B.) National Organization of Whores

(C.) All the above

Answer:

Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.

I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.

I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.

Life is like a penis, women make it hard.

Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.

Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.