Woman jokes

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.

They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.

Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.

I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.

Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

Why do men give cold women their jackets?

No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.

A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."