Woman jokes

Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?

Neurospicy.

Why do women have small feet?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Women getting paid is bad, women should not get paid...

How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.

During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

When you see a woman with a leg chain, what usually comes to your mind?

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

What's the difference between a plane and a woman?

At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.

Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?

Who cares?

Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.

One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?

One stops sucking when you smack it.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

Freya Walker is a feminist.

What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."