Woman jokes
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her in on the act and gave away my location from the noise.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
The person who made it a law to not hurt girls is stupid because we've all kicked a pregnant woman before we were even born.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Women are only for sex!
They are good for cooking and sex!
Nothing but those things.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.