Woman jokes

A couple is on their first date.

Man: How do you feel about sex?

Woman: I like it infrequently.

Man: I see. Is that one word or two?

An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

Did you know that most women are left-handed?

That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?

A cutting board.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Women have ass and tits... but men have dick and rights.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Why do women get periods?

Just cancel the subscription.

What’s another name for cumming in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.

Why did the woman cross the road?

What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?

My dick!