Woman jokes
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
I don’t see what the problem is.
The Supreme Court came up with a solution to the tampon shortage, yet all the liberals are pissed!
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
I like my women like I like my traction control: disabled.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
There’s a woman cutting onions when her husband walks in and starts crying. Onions was a good dog.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.